How to Survive in Panjab?

Here's a quick survival guide for the non-Panjabis who are planning to visit Panjab anytime sooner or later. For holidays, or for good. Sure you know how Panjabis are. You have seen the movies. They are often portrayed as loud, cultured, welcoming, honest etc. But it never hurts to know a little more. Here goes the checklist.

1. Do not mess with the fellow Panjabis. Especially the Panjabans. Google "Panjabi Jutti" to get a hint of the consequences.

2. Understand that Jugaad is the secret behind all successes in Panjab. Small, big and medium. Learn to be Jugaadu.

3. Understand that the term "5 minutes" may mean anything from 5 minutes to eternity. So come prepared. Be patient.

4. Learn Panjabi. No, seriously. English and all is cool, but Panjabi is an absolute necessity. Just knowing Balle-Balle and Mainu-Tainu doesn't really count. Learn some real Panjabi.

5. If you are planning to stay in Panjab for good, start earning money. Paihe! And if you earn, say 50,000 a month, have the heart to spend 65,000. It's okay. Everything will be alright. In fact, it will be better than alright. Panjabis are the living proofs of it. We don't call it show-off anymore. It's the new norm.

6. Start wearing Original. Fake is uncool and it shows in your walk and talk.

7. Train your tummy. Train it to accommodate double the food than necessary, if you are planning to socialize in Panjab.

8. Last but not the least. During your stay in the other states, you might be used to cracking Santa Banta jokes casually, but when in Panjab, take a good look around you. If you spot a Santa or a Banta in one kilometer radius, swallow that joke. Bury it deep in your heart. For more information, do not take this advice.

9. Above all, come to Panjab without worries. Panjabis are open-hearted and big-hearted. Helpful to an extent that's unbelievable. They are warm and welcoming. Innocent and brave. But like they say, never take Panga with Panjabis. Rest is cool. Baki sab theek hai!

Note: If you are a Panjabi, or had the privilege to know a Panjabi closely, do share a tip that might help the others. Take care. Rab Rakha!